Intuitive Eating is a framework that can support people in unlearning diet culture’s rules and discovering a more peaceful relationship with food and their body. Let’s explore what this might look like in practice.
Making peace with food means rejecting a conflictual relationship with it – or more particularly, the rules we place around what we eat. By the same token, making peace with food also means moving towards a state of food acceptance, acknowledging that all foods have their place as you learn to build trust in your body. Of course, developing a more balanced relationship with food is individualised process. In this post, I want to offer some general advice about the principles to guide people as they embark on this journey.
What are some of the reasons that cause people to struggle with food?
Before we explore the notion of Intuitive Eating, it’s worth considering why a conflictual relationship with food is so prevalent today.
Many people struggle with food due in large part to the negative influences of diet culture, weight stigma and weight-centric health care. When we are taught that there is one way to eat and that food fits neatly into good and bad categories, it can leave people feeling confused and often doubting their body’s signals regarding appetite and food preferences.
Diet culture tell us that we need to focus on controlling our weight and that thinner is better. As a consequence, many people feel the need to focus on weight and food rules. This makes sense given we are wired to fit in and belong, particularly when it is all we know.
The drive to control our weight, be healthy and avoid the judgement that comes from not following society’s standards are common themes for people struggling with their relationship to food. Of course, there are plenty of other reasons why a person may experience such conflict – mental illness, trauma, and poverty, to name a few – but the cultural and societal demands form a big part of the picture.
Food rules and their impact
Food rules and associated judgements are often at the heart of people’s struggle with food. On the one hand, food rules feel like a sure path to health. Yet on the other hand, they can have a highly restrictive effect on people, making it difficult for them to freely enjoy food. Rigidly adhering to food rules impair a person’s ability to properly nourish our body. This is partly because we all have desires, moments of spontaneity, social obligations, and ever-changing bodies that require us to be adaptable. Food rules just don’t allow for a healthy, flexible, sensitive and peaceful relationship with food.
To understand food rules more please see my blog post “Are food rules helpful or triggering chaotic eating.”
First step in making peace with food: adequate nourishment
Now, making peace with food isn’t a linear journey. Intuitive Eating emphasises that establishing a regular and adequate pattern of eating is an important first step in this process. From this place your body will have moved out of survival mode, where food preoccupations begin to settle and intense hunger signals subside. Your body needs to sense safety, knowing it isn’t going to be deprived of its nutritional needs.
The next step: identifying and challenging food rules
Another key principle of Intuitive Eating is Challenge the food Police. This is encouraging people to examine and challenge any unnecessary food rules they might hold.
From a place of nourishment, you can begin to get curious about rigid food rules and judgements, as well as their impact on your eating patterns. As you identify the food rules that shape your eating patterns, you can examine them and decide whether they are helpful or hindering. With an open mind, you can examine those rules and discover whether they are backed by credible evidence-based science or are grounded in diet myth. Then with support, you can choose where a certain food will fit in your diet and how you will relate to it.
As you move away from food rules, you will at the same time be building trust with your body and food. The aim is to learn to listen to your body and how it feels in response to the way you eat. If you allow it, your body will become a source of wisdom, strength, replacing food rules as your anchor in your relationship with food.
What is the alternative to food rules?
This all may sound good in theory. But because the principles of diet culture are so well engrained, it may be hard for people to imagine an alternative to food rules. The good news is that one indeed exists: unconditional permission. Unconditional permission is another Intuitive Eating principle that aims to reduce the battle with food.
Unconditional permission means we don’t place strict rules and judgments on what we can and can’t eat. It means that we shed a black-and-white approach to food, instead cultivating a more flexible and responsive attitude. With unconditional permission, we learn to find balance in listening and responding to our body, it’s desires and health needs – without judgement. It allows us to honour our need to enjoy food as we support our body’s functioning through proper nutrition.
Unconditional permission involves:
- Allowing all foods to fit and play a role
- Removing moral judgements on food
- Connecting with your body and learning to identify and respond to its needs
- Finding a balance between honouring your body’s basic nutritional needs and your need for enjoyment and pleasure
You may not realise that as we gradually drop the judgements on food, we can learn to accept that all food fits. All foods can have their place. No food is idealised, just as no food is demonised. For example, we can learn to create opportunities of joyful eating – driven by the pleasure that comes from food – even as we choose to prioritise eating for our health.
This approach allows for:
- Reducing the forbidden food effect
- Supporting the reduction in food noise
- Enjoying food without a side of guilt
- Learning to partner with your body
- Reducing the struggle with food
- Adequate nourishment
- Honouring your health and the need for pleasure
What does unconditional permission look like?
Unconditional permission may sound something like this: “It’s okay, I can have the chocolate now, later today, or tomorrow – guilt-free. There’s no right or wrong response.” When we remove the judgements and food rules, we can be free to respond to our body’s present needs.
Unconditional permission allows you to tune into the experience of eating and your body’s cues, respond to these rather than deferring to a set of rules. It permits you to ask questions like: Is this satisfying? Did this give me enough energy? How did this feel in my body?
You may still be wondering what unconditional permission could look like in practice. Here, then, are some examples to help you understand the shift from rules to genuinely responding to your body.
🍃When eating a salad, you may realise it doesn’t give you enough energy and that you actually need some carbs and protein to meet your body’s needs.
🍃You may be in the habit of eating fish and chips on a Friday night, and after a few weeks you might realise this isn’t what you feel like, that it wasn’t as satisfying as the first or second time. You can be aware of this and consider other options, knowing fish and chips aren’t off the menu permanently.
🍃You may experience an increase in your appetite; rather than judging it and sticking to your usual serving, you allow yourself to eat more and meet your body’s present needs.
🍃You may be out for dinner and decide not to have dessert because you’re genuinely full and satisfied. Or you may decide to share a dessert with a friend so you can still enjoy a little.
🍃You may realise that the diet yoghurt you feel you ‘should’ eat isn’t enjoyable, and that you prefer a thick and creamy texture.
🍃You may realise that you’re getting ‘hangry’ whilst preparing dinner. Noticing this cue without judgement means you could pack an extra snack and have it on your way home from work in order to meet your body’s needs.
Making peace with food requires, self-compassion, curiosity and support
Connecting and responding to your body rather than rigidly adhering to food rules may seem daunting. This is where nutrition support can be helpful. Help from a credentialed eating disorder dietitian support you through this process will allow you to confidently take the steps you need to develop a more peaceful relationship with food.
Interested in learning more? Then let’s connect. I offer a no-cost discovery call, which is an obligation-free opportunity to ask me questions, learn more about my offering and consider whether we might be a good fit. Discovery calls can be booked via my booking page.
