Jessica is a Credentialed Eating Disorder Dietitian with over 15 years of experience working in the field. Drawing on both her professional expertise and lived experience, she has learnt a great deal from the many clients she has supported over the years. In this blog post, she draws from her time supporting people in their recovery journey and explores the common story of “I’m not sick enough” for help.
I’m not sick enough for help
A common story I hear from people struggling with an eating disorder is, “I’m not sick enough”. Someone might say, “I’m managing okay”, or “Hey, I’m still working and studying”. When you focus on what you are still able to do, you may find yourself building a “well enough” story. It’s a narrative that’s characterised by over-emphasis on your capacity to function and engage. For all its apparent protective value, however, it conceals the full picture from view.
Being able to acknowledge that picture may feel scary or overwhelming. Indeed, admitting that the ED is causing harm can be hard. This makes sense: despite the harm they cause, EDs often serve a purpose in people’s lives. An ED may appear to offer a sense of protection, comfort, and safety. Still, it’s necessary to become curious about the broader (and more complex) life portrait you may be operating with.
Noticing the I’m not sick enough” story
Noticing and naming the “I’m not sick enough” narrative might be one place to start – realising that although the story feels protective, there may be other, less comfortable, sides to consider.
What is your body telling you?
Tuning into your body might help you consider the full picture. What is your body telling you? Are you tired, cold, dizzy upon standing, preoccupied with food, struggling to sleep or anxious about food choices? Do you find decision-making difficult, or concentrating on conversations hard? Is it difficult being present in social gatherings? Do you have trouble sleeping? Do you experience anxiety when following your exercise routine?
You might also be noticing:
- Restricting foods, skipping meals, feeling out of control with food
- Increasing worry about what you will eat next or what you’ve already eaten
- Feeling of guilt or shame after eating certain foods
- Preoccupation with your weight and shape
- Feeling like food takes up all your time and energy
- Not wanting to catch up with friends because of the food involved
- Feeling distressed by body signals like fullness or hunger
- Struggling to concentrate at work, reading, homework or conversations
- Feeling more irritable at small things
- Worry about getting in exercise
- Increasing discomfort in your body
What it’s important to realise is that you can have an eating disorder at any age, gender and weight. Eating disorders don’t have a particular “look”, and someone can appear highly functional on the outside while still struggling significantly on the inside.
Everyone’s experience will be different. Therefore you may not have all the symptoms mentioned above and you may have others that I haven’t mentioned. What matters is recognising when your relationship with food, exercise, or your body is causing distress or interfering with your life—and knowing that you deserve support, regardless of what your eating disorder looks like.
What are trusted friends, family and health professionals saying?
I know that for many, tuning into your body may be hard. That is why it’s helpful to consider listening to, or being curious about, what your treatment team, friends and family are bringing to your attention. This might help you to be more aware of the bigger picture.
Action creates motivation
You might be torn between seeking help and terrified about not being sick enough or about what recovery might entail. Many people feel this way. And, you don’t have to wait until you feel motivated or ready for help. Rather, actions are what helps to create motivation. Indeed, if you wait for motivation to arise, you could be waiting a very long time.
Furthermore, it is okay to bring your ambivalence and your fears to a health professional. Together we can get curious about your ambivalence with compassion and make sense of your experience. Through exploring your motivations for change and your reasons to stay the same, you can find clarity, direction, and learn to offer yourself compassion in your struggle.
There is no criteria for seeking help
Finally, I want you to know, that you don’t have to be a particular weight or diagnosis or have severe symptoms to be eligible for help. If you are struggling with food, body image, exercise or health, and want support, then please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Recognising that the ED is taking you out of life and away from your values can feel hard. And yet, you can do hard things. You deserve not only to see the truth, but to allow it to set you on a path towards freedom and healing. If you long for a more peaceful relationship with food and your body, then it’s time to get the support you need.
If you are in this place of uncertainty, why not book a free discovery call. This will provide you with an opportunity to test the waters, so to speak. To ask me some questions and to learn how I might be able to help you.
