Is your teenager expressing concerns about the way their body looks? Maybe you’ve noticed them struggling to choose clothes, obsessing in front of the mirror, avoiding social gatherings, refusing trips to the beach, or talking negatively about their appearance. You may also have noticed an unexplained interest in nutrition, changes in their eating patterns, secretive eating, avoidance of certain foods or food groups, or sudden requests for different foods at mealtimes.
Witnessing a teenage child’s confusion and distress can be extremely unsettling, leaving parents feeling ill-equipped to help. They, too, may grapple with confusion, anxiously wondering whether this is their child’s passing phase or something more serious. Knowing when to seek help or how to support a teenager in such circumstances can be incredibly difficult. The good news is that answers are available. Let’s explore them now.
Setting the scene
Conflicting messages about health and diets have proliferated at an alarming rate, fuelled by the viral power of the internet and social media. Underlying those messages are cultural assumptions about the way people ought to look to be considered healthy or socially acceptable. Given that most teenagers frequently use social media at a time when their identities are still works in progress, they remain particularly susceptible.
Shutting out the noise to find some truth or direction may therefore seem impossible. Understandably, many parents find themselves in a state of deep uncertainty as they try to respond to their teenagers’ concerning decisions about dietary changes and food choices.
Our own stories are often implicated in the messages that teenagers receive. Many of us have also struggled with body image, turning to fad diets to shrink our bodies, fit in, be “healthy”, or improve our self-image. If that is how we’ve grown up thinking about food, nutrition and physical health, transmitting those assumptions to our children may seem natural. That said, if you’re reading this, then there’s a good chance that at least part of you is curious about alternatives to diet culture’s prevailing influence over our young people!
Teenagers and body image
For adolescents, nourishing their bodies is particularly difficult, what with developing brains, changing bodies, growing independence, and an evolving body image. It’s no wonder so many young people are turning to diets or weight control strategies.
Take body image. Today’s teenagers are struggling with negative perceptions concerning their bodies. The Body Kind Youth Survey 2024 underscores this, suggesting that body dissatisfaction is a significant concern for many Australian teenagers. The survey results show that more than half of the participants reported being dissatisfied with how their bodies looked. In fact, two in five young people never or rarely feel good in their bodies, while 75.5% wish they were thinner/leaner. These statistics are both saddening and alarming.
Whether we’re health professionals or parents, such surveys are a sobering reminder that teenagers need our support. We need to become well-equipped with strategies that help adolescents feel more at ease in their bodies – without resorting to diets. As we’ll see below, there are (thankfully!) healthy ways forward.
So why aren’t diets the solution to body dissatisfaction?
Of course, dieting may seem like a clear and straightforward solution to what some regard as an obvious issue. As body dissatisfaction increases, teenagers are more likely to engage in dieting or restrictive eating patterns. This might be why your teenager is exploring the idea of being healthier or going on a diet: it is touted as a way to relieve unwelcome, distressing thoughts.
At first glance, being “healthier” by dieting might seem like a positive answer to body image concerns. But we know, according to widely held research, that it’s not the pathway to improved body image. More than that, dieting places teenagers at risk of developing longer-term disordered eating patterns or an eating disorder. In fact, studies show us that teenagers who diet are 18 times more likely to develop an eating disorder than those who don’t diet (Pehlivan, 2024).
If your teenager is starting to talk about going on a diet to lose weight or attain certain beauty standards, you have reason to be concerned. But don’t worry: professional support is both appropriate and available. If you’re not sure where to start, then speak to your GP.
How do I respond if my child wants to eat for health?
This is a great question for parents of teenagers to explore. I will respond in two parts. First, I want to address the reasons why, for some young people, “eating healthier” could mean going on a diet and why this might be unhelpful or detrimental. Second, I want to help you respond to your teenager by critically exploring the idea of health.
“I just wanted to be healthier” is a phrase I commonly hear in my consulting rooms as I ask people to recall when and how their eating disorder story began. More often than not, this simple and well-intentioned step has acted as the entry point for an emerging eating disorder. While dieting cannot be held solely responsible for the condition, it has frequently worked with pre-existing body image concerns to produce a heady combination, raising the likelihood of an eating disorder. And although a host of biological and psychosocial risk factors are associated with the aetiology of disordered eating, dieting remains one of the strongest contributors (Pehlivan, 2024).
Of course, when your teenager says they want to be healthy, this may be seen as a positive step; if undertaken holistically, accounting for various dimensions of a person’s health, it can even be encouraged. The trouble is that in our diet-saturated culture, “health” often means excluding certain food groups, reducing portion sizes, counting calories or macros, reading food labels, measuring food, eating differently from the rest of the family, eating diet products, avoiding sweets or so-called “sometimes” foods, or imposing moral labels on food and dietary choices. If you notice your teenager engaging in some – or all – of these practices, then chances are they are drifting away from a genuinely healthy lifestyle.
It’s therefore worth pausing for a moment or two with your teenager to gently explore the idea of health from a more holistic, multifaceted perspective – ensuring they understand that food is just one element in the health equation and that diets often produce results that are anything but healthy.
How can I actually help my teenager develop a healthier relationship with food and their body?
Making sure a young person understands the dangers associated with dieting is all well and good. But how can that be achieved successfully? Here are some concrete ideas and strategies to reflect on as you support the teens and young people in your life.
- Become curious with your teen about what it means to be healthy. Unpack all the things, both in and out of our control, that impact our health. Help them to realise that our diet is only one part of the equation, and that we should neither disregard it nor idealise it.
- If a teenager wants to improve their health, they should develop a broad list of things they can do, such as getting adequate sleep, catching up with friends (in person), spending time in nature, reading books, doing something creative, moving their body in ways that feel enjoyable, journaling, and talking with someone about their struggles.
- Critically explore the idea of healthy eating. Help your young person understand that we don’t have to approach healthy eating with a set of rules – that all foods have their place.
- When discussing food, focus on what you can add to your diet rather than what you can remove. Simple examples might include fruit, wholegrain foods, dairy products, nuts, legumes, protein, and vegetables – all without having to remove other foods or giving them a bad rap.
- Help your teenager to see the point of retaining a range of foods like chips or cakes in their diet. What you might call “sometimes” food plays an important role in a healthy diet. By contrast, avoiding certain foods will likely leave them more preoccupied with them, leading to emotional issues or overeating.
- Explore what makes them feel good about their bodies. Maybe they realise they feel better when they’re immersed in nature, dancing with friends, drawing, listening to or playing music. Encourage them to engage in these activities.
- Help your teen to develop a sense of gratitude towards their body. Together, you could write a list of all the wonderful things your bodies can do. For instance, “I am thankful that my body allows me to experience the warmth of the sand, the freshness of the water, the embrace of a kind friend, to be absorbed in a good book, to taste delicious food, to walk.” I’m sure there are plenty of other examples.
- Help them consider what they appreciate about their friends. As they talk about their friends’ qualities, you might be able to point out that looks and appearance probably weren’t the first things that sprang to mind.
- Build upon the idea that we are more than just bodies. The way our bodies appear is likely the least important – certainly, the least interesting – thing about us. Our looks don’t determine what we can offer the world around us. This is a foundational message that can directly challenge narratives rooted in diet culture’s assumptions.
These are just a few suggestions that can be tailored to your situation. If you need more guidance on developing or implementing such strategies, consulting a health professional is a good idea.
The most important support and influence is you
The most powerful support you can offer your teenager is yourself – a positive role model who adopts a healthy approach to food and body image. This can be hard to hear: for many parents (and mums in particular), the struggle against a poor body image or restrictive eating habits is all too real. Some may have unconsciously absorbed diet rules and negative body beliefs from family, friends, health professionals or the ambient culture. Yet we have the challenging and beautiful opportunity to act as circuit breakers in the lives of our teenagers, breaking the destructive cycle of self-loathing and disordered eating.
If any of this resonates with you and you feel up to the challenge, why not seek support? Start looking into a weight-neutral or Intuitive Eating approach to food. Maybe you could even see a credentialed eating disorder clinician who can support you in healing your relationship with food and your body.
A final note of encouragement. Although the world is filled with toxic messages about food and bodies, it is possible to create a haven in our home where our loved ones can experience peace and freedom with food.
A refuge where food is nourishing, enjoyable and accepted without reserve.
A place where teens and young people can understand their place in the world and develop their own identities, all without the burden of harmful dieting narratives.
If you would like further support for you or your teenager, please don’t hesitate to reach out to another credentialed dietitian or me.
