Do you worry about the number on the scale?
Are you living your life according to the number on the scales?
Is controlling your weight dictating the way you live? Doing so may give you a superficial sense of safety or security, as it keeps at bay the fear of weight gain. But what impact does it have?
Weight loss can’t be used as a sign of moral virtue. Although it is praised and elevated by diet culture, it doesn’t actually reflect your character, value or worth. Losing weight ultimately doesn’t make you happier, kinder, connected, more successful, or adventurous.
What is the cost of focusing on weight loss?
If you’re trying to control your weight, you will most likely experience a lot of anxiety around food and exercise. Thoughts about what you eat, when you eat, what you’ve eaten will fill your mind – and not in a joyful way. Such thoughts are stress-inducing, and often leave people feeling guilty or ashamed.
In fact, if you are spending all your energy pursuing weight loss there is a high chance that you won’t have much left for anything else. You may find all your energy going to maintaining your weight, exercise regime and food rules. You might even find that your values compromised, as the number on the scale dictates the direction of your life.
Can weight loss improve my body image?
Many people focus on the number on the scale as a way to improve their body image. Still, how does this shape the way you feel about your body? Does it lead to body respect, kindness, and appreciation? Or does knowing the number trigger an avalanche of critical and judgmental thoughts?
I want you to know that you’re not alone if you’re trying to control your weight. Many of us have been conditioned to believe that this is an important, even necessary, pursuit in relation to our health goals. However, it’s not your only option.
If I’m not focusing on weight loss, then what?
Instead of focusing on your weight, what if you allowed your values to direct your life? What if you treated yourself with kindness and compassion? I wonder: how this would impact your body image?
Instead of controlling your body, you can learn to partner with it.
Instead of following rules, you can learn to trust your body and nourish it.
Instead of fearing weight gain and the number on the scale, you can learn to respect and appreciate you’re “here-and-now” body.
What I want you to know, is that you don’t have to live your life in fear of that number. Find out what’s most important to you and let that be your compass.
Isn’t weight loss a worthy achievement?
Weight loss isn’t achievement to be praised. As a society we must move past our obsession with weight and the beauty ideals that underlie them to see the full picture. How can we possibly praise weight loss when it means: starvation, anxiety around food, and exercise driven by shame or deprivation?
What is the bigger picture?
Next time you see someone who has lost weight, pause and remember: weight loss is not a sign of success or happiness. It doesn’t necessarily mean that someone is healthy. There is a bigger picture we need to recognize. We can never know what is going on with someone’s health simply by looking at their weight. It’s time to move beyond weight and see each other’s basic humanity. We need to see people without glorifying or shaming their bodies. After all, the number on the scale does not determine who we are and what we can offer this world.
Maybe it’s time to consider this: your external appearance is not the most important thing you have to offer this world. Instead of focusing incessantly on weight, shape and appearance, let’s appreciate the complex and unique aspects of each person’s humanity.
If you are wanting to heal your relationship with your body, please don’t hesitate to contact me for support.
Recovery is not a linear process
The pathway of recovery requires great vulnerability, patience, openness, courage and determination. There’ll be times when you feel hopeful and encouraged as you see tangible progress. This progress might give you strength to keep going. And then at other times you may feel stuck or weighed down by eating disorder thoughts and/or negative body image thoughts and feelings. These might cloud any previous progress you have made. Doubts may arise and the hope you once held may fade a little. This is a time to respond with compassion, not judgement.
What I’d like you to keep in mind is this: recovery is not a linear journey. It is full of ups and downs; all are moments to learn from. Feeling stuck is a hard place to be. It could be hard to get in touch with your motivation. In this moment, please remember that you’re not going backwards and you are not failing. You are experiencing a normal part of recovery. Be kind toward yourself, and reach out for more support. Offer yourself statements of compassion such as, “In my struggles and in my pain, I deserve compassion and kindness”.
Your present struggles in recovery do not discount your past progress. Nor do they determine your hope for recovery. Your present struggles don’t mean you’re failing. Again, recovery is not a linear process. When difficult emotions arise and eating disorder thoughts are loud, you may feel like turning towards eating disorder behaviours. Instead, this is a time to be with your emotions and sooth yourself with compassion. In addition, you can reach out for help, allowing others to support you. We are going through difficult times at the moment, so it is even more important than ever to reach out for help, showing yourself compassion whilst clinging onto your motivations for recovery and to hope.
What foods are guilt free?
Do you find yourself bingeing on ‘guilt’ free food?
Food is often marketed as ‘guilt-free’ because it is low in calories, fat, or sugar. This highlights the way food companies use diet culture’s messages to sell their products. It’s important to remember that the bottom line for those companies is making money. Marketing often uses the latest wellness trends to promote products and make more sales.
The trouble with using ‘guilt-free’ slogans is that it reinforces the idea that we need to follow food rules and that some foods are inherently bad. Remember that following food rules and labelling food with moral judgements doesn’t promote healthy eating patterns. Instead, they introduce shame and guilt into our relationship with food and our bodies. This often triggers chaotic eating patterns.
Along with attaching moral judgement to food, ‘guilt-free’ labelling can lead people to overeating rather than responding to their appetite. Alternatively, you may eat it and still feel deprived because these types of substitute are less satisfying than the ‘real’ version.
The real definition of guilt-free food is simply food without judgement. If you’re wanting to eat without guilt, maybe it’s time to challenge your food rules and begin a journey of making peace with food. If you want help with this, please don’t hesitate to email me for support.
Can I have a guilt free sweet snack?
Do you find yourself eating patterns are chaotic?
Just a reminder that you can enjoy something sweet as a snack – guilt-free! Many people experience guilt when eating food, and struggle to give themselves unconditional permission to enjoy it. I’ve heard many people say, “I really shouldn’t be eating this” or “I’m being naughty today”. Where did we get the idea that eating certain foods makes us ‘naughty’? Here’s a hint: DIET CULTURE and its detrimental food rules.
You may be thinking, “But don’t food rules and judgements help me eat a healthy balanced diet?”. Or maybe you believe that some foods are just ‘bad’ or ‘unhealthy’. Yes, foods possess varied nutritional quality, but that doesn’t mean we need to laden them with moral judgements. Such judgements simply leave you with guilt and shame, and consequent efforts to avoid the ‘offending’ foods only succeeds in making you feel unsated. So rather than eating cake and moving on with your day, you might eat cake and become trapped in the guilt-and-shame cycle. This often triggers chaotic eating patterns, and increases one’s preoccupation with food. Diet rules and moral judgements not only fail to help people create healthy eating patterns; they also do everything to create a distorted relationship with food.
Remember: food is food. You aren’t doing anything wrong by enjoying a sweet food for a snack. You haven’t committed a crime. In fact, you don’t even need a particular reason for having a sweet food for a snack. If your body is asking, say, for a piece of chocolate cake, that is a sufficient reason to take pleasure in it.
Are you ready to reject the diet-mentality and learn to eat guilt-free? If ‘yes’, please don’t hesitate to email me to book in your session.
Why is self-compassion important after a binge?
How does judgement keep you trapped in the binge cycle?
We all deserve a compassionate response whenever we’re in the midst of pain and suffering. But for many of us, responding compassionately to ourselves may seem almost impossible, beset as we sometimes are with self-recrimination. For instance, do you notice judgemental or critical thoughts arising about your progress in recovery? Do you notice that judgemental thoughts arise if you are struggling with a particular eating disorder behaviour? They might just be keeping you trapped in your eating disorder cycle.
Clinging to these highly critical thinking patterns can be paralysing, making it far hard to hold onto hope. Labouring under their weight, a person may find it hard harder to take the necessary steps towards recovery; in fact, they may trigger a slide into eating disorder behaviours.
Here’s an example. After bingeing, you may experience many negative, berating thoughts, combined with feelings of shame and guilt. These thoughts and emotions may trigger restrictive eating patterns, but that only sets you up for another round of bingeing. Learning to respond to yourself with compassion can help you acknowledge your feelings in a judgment-free manner, while also offering an effective means of self-soothing. This will help you to shift from self-condemnation to a place of self-care. From that place you may be able to confidently continue with your recovery goals of regular eating, thereby breaking the bingeing cycle.
What would it be like to respond to your struggles with compassion? To activate your ‘self-soothing’ system? It may be hard at first as you may not feel like you deserve compassion. It may take time to open yourself up to the practice, as it may feel unnatural. But self-compassion enables us to remember that we are not alone in our suffering and that each person deserves compassion in his or her pain and suffering. Responding gently to yourself can also help you to acknowledge your pain and suffering rather than berating yourself or constantly foregrounding critical thoughts. A compassionate response is a source of comfort, and may ultimately provide the robust foundation you need to continue your recovery journey.
How can I feel better in my body?
Do you speak to yourself with kindness or judgement?
Have you noticed the tone and content of your negative body image thoughts? Are they harsh, disrespectful, judgemental? Is this the sort of tone you’d use when speaking with a friend?
Often people think they need to talk to themselves in this manner in order to create change and to feel better about themselves. They believe that harsh criticism will help them to eat healthier or exercise more. But does it? Or does it just perpetuate the very beliefs that sustain a person’s negative body image?
It’s common for people to say, “I’ll be kind to myself once I reach my goal weight. Everything will feel better once I’ve reached my goal weight”. But at what cost?
You don’t have to wait until you feel better about your body to start speaking to yourself with kindness and respect. What would it be like to adopt a more compassionate tone? Or to speak to yourself like you would speak to a friend?
FAQ’s
Frequently Asked Questions…
You do not need a referral from a GP to make an appointment. If you have a Chronic Disease Management (CDM) plan with your GP, you will need to bring this into your appointment and you will be eligible for a Medicare rebate of $53.80.
How can I make meal times more enjoyable?
What’s the best approach to raising ‘healthy’ eaters?
Jessica is passionate about supporting parents with evidence-based nutrition information and strategies to raise healthy eaters. It can be very confusing to know what nutrition advice to listen to and what approach to use.
Continue reading
Why is food an important part of social connection?
Jessica believes there is more to food than just nutrition. The social aspect of food is also deeply nourishing, and has a significant impact on people’s wellbeing. Food allows us to connect with people in different ways.
Continue reading
Welcome
Hello, and welcome to my website. As an accredited practicing dietitian, I am aware that for many people, seeing someone like me might induce a sense of guilt or shame. They may feel guilty about their dietary patterns, love of food, or weight. Unfortunately, we dietitians are often viewed as the so-called “food police”, enforcing strict diet rules and rendering judgement about other people’s weight. We may even be held up as models – people who can somehow follow a pristine diet without struggle, and who bear the solution to all one’s weight problems. Frankly, these are myths, and damaging ones at that. I’m here to unpack and challenge them.
Firstly, dietitians are not the “food police”! Nutritional guidelines are not upheld as laws, of which one can fall afoul. They can guide our food choices, but they need to be held lightly enough to allow us flexibility and enjoyment of food. If we adhere to such guidelines too tightly, we won’t give ourselves the permission to eat simply for pleasure, or engage freely in the joys of social eating. Furthermore, we can be left feeling guilty when we break them and lead to disordered eating patterns.
Secondly, Jessica does not judge or treat people differently because of their weight. We live in a society where many people consider weight to be the most important determinant or reflection of health. It’s also a society that judges a person’s character and value by their weight and shape. By contrast, Jessica aligns herself with the HAES (Health At Every Size) model, and wants to empower people to pursue health regardless of their weight. She treats all people with dignity and respect, as weight does not determine one’s value or worth. Moreover, research shows that 90-95% of diets fail, and that many people who focus on weight-loss end up cycling through a series of diets – a trap that can cause weight gain, create a sense of failure, or impact one’s mental health. Recognizing these risks, Jessica follows the HAES and Non-Dieting approach – focuses on improving health from a holistic perspective and through sustainable behavioural change.
Thank you for dropping by; please contact me if you have any questions, or if you’d like to book an appointment with me to work on your health and nutrition goals.